The past few days have totally ruined my stay positive attitude. I'm getting over it slowly but I have been in quite a slump for the past couple days. I've been trying not to let shit get me down but it's like one thing after another when all I am trying to do is get my life and the lives of those that I care about situated.
I really hate when I get more emotionally invested in someone then they are in me. It always puts me into an emotionless and Vulcan logical state. I call it the Geek Defense Mechanism. You break down everything into a logical platform and then tear it apart. It makes it hurt less because at that moment you know exactly how it was doomed to fail.
It's not healthy or positive. I'm working on starting to fix that, but its hard. I'm really starting to think that I'm not meant to have a best friend, whenever I finally confess that a female is my best friend is when shit hits the fan. The only exception was in high school and that girl was using me for my bank account and the fact that her parents trusted me so she could say she was with me while she was fucking whoever she wanted. But I digress >.<