Thursday, March 23, 2017


Image result for cracked plate meaning, sorry

The plate is broken, that crack will always be there. Do you throw away the plate or do you try to fix it?  The lesson to learn here is that "Sorry" is the process of fixing the plate. Did you use glue? Did you use gold?
                       "What do you mean what did I use? What does it matter? It's fixed isn't it?"
Very true... but how much was your "sorry" worth? Will the plate break again from the basic use or will it hold forever?
That's today's lesson.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Feeling Melancholy

I can't see anything but the bills I'm paying, the time I'm losing... Dreamless nights and nightmarish days. There's a voice inside my head that's gone quiet. Every step I'm taking, every move I'm making feels lost with no direction. Futile attempt to make something happen that never comes to be.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Coping: I Forgive You

Life is hard when you love someone that you can't contact because of their own toxicity level. Thankfully, I learned how to cope with this many years ago. I'm a child of the 90's so I had a myspace and LiveJournal. So, I will pour my hurt, and pain here and hope that doing so will help me cope.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

More Drama

Tonight I got sucked into drama. I was very proud of myself for still remaining rational, defending myself but not bad mouthing others. I've been really working hard towards that lately, reminding myself that no good comes from it.

Especially since looking back on times when I did "sink" to "that level" it never worked. It didnt solve or sooth my feelings of hurt or betrayal. I could write about each of them in vivid detail, tell you where I fucked up and where I felt justified in my actions but that doesn't solve it and all though I chastise others for not owning their mistakes and apologizing I realize that to those that I greatly hurt I'm still greatly ashamed of my actions and while I can sit here in my bubble of anonymity and telling you how I acted poorly, said things that didnt need to be said... I've never owned those actions to the people they hurt.