The last few days have been shit for money in the club. No one is making money and the feed from the world of strippers I follow vouches that its not just my club, its that season! Tis the season to forget the "average" sex worker. There are still moment though that remind me of what I really enjoy with this industry, the thrill of the performance. The feel of being bigger than yourself and entertaining the eye as art... more than just a person. Tonight I got that, I got performed on stage and all the dancers were bouncing and singing along while all the guys watched. My music was well received and so was I.
Oh my god, I fucking loved that. I cannot explain how it was thrilling and exciting. Everyone singing along bouncing and dancing with me... performer rush is the best term for it. Only made $2 while on stage but it wasn't about the money in that moment.
It's the part of performing that I love and I don't normally get which is why I typically enforce the "pay me" because I need the audience to be involved and entangled in the show. I need to know that you value what I am doing. So much art gets taken for granted because the artist should love doing it and that should be reward enough.
No! Your soul needs this art, to be in awe every once and a while at the bare minimum and more people should value that. Tonight in that moment, I felt that. I haven't felt that in a long time. My only regret is that in a few hours when this rush and high washes away all that I will have left is the stress of the bills that are mounting around me but in this moment I will soak in and enjoy this wave of chemicals that are making me feel like more than just a person.
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