Sunday, June 9, 2013

Love Without Trust

People constantly say that you cant have love without trust. This thought has destroyed some relationships when the truth of the matter is that it is possible to love someone you dont trust. The lack of trust is just a point of insecurity and like all points of insecurity it can be conquered.

Knowing how to love without trust takes strength to struggle in a relationship where you feel insecure. Once trust is gone in a relationship, there's always lingering doubts if whether the partner will make the same mistake again. If love and emotions override logic, here are some ways to keep the relationship going with little to no trust.
  • Accept the relationship as it is. People lose their trust from actions that are deal breakers. Cheating, lying and abuse usually make it hard to stay secure, but if you truly want to love without trust, learn to accept the relationship and the person you are with without judging his/her faults. Realize you faced a huge bump in the relationship and you two will overcome it eventually.
  • Stay hopeful. Most people who earn distrust promise to make changes and improvements. Continue to hope your significant other become a better person and works on his/her flaws. Go the extra mile and consider professional counseling to find the root of the problem that causes lack of trust. With enough optimism and determination to make the relationship stronger, you might need to impose strict boundaries so your man/woman faces the consequences of betraying you.
  • Communicate. Once you realize the relationship will never to be the same, air out your emotions about the hurtful experience your partner caused to lose your trust. Once you speak your mind, it is up your partner to make a decision to make positive changes so the relationship can grow successfully. By acknowledging your disappointments, your partner can take responsibility for her wrongful actions.

  • Think its time to move on? Ending on good terms is possible no matter what the movies will try to tell you. There really are people in the world who are much better friends than lovers. There are also those who aren't.
    1) Go to neutral territory. You don't want to taint good memories with the bad experience of a break up. Do it somewhere that has no emotional ties to either of you and no importance to the two of you as a couple. You'll one day be ready to relive the good memories and don't want them tarnished with a potentially nasty break up memory to overshadow them.
    2) Be ready to shock your partner. No matter how obvious it is to you that the end was near it may not have been as obvious to the other party. We humans have a tendency to see what we want to see in the world and your partner may have no idea this is coming. Be prepared for that possibility.
    3) Be kind. Breaking up might feel like a slap in the face to your lover and he or she may retaliate or lash out in response to the pain. Don't return the favor. Respond with kindness instead if for no other reason than as a note of respect to the love you once felt for each other.
    4) Be firm. This is the most difficult. Your (now) ex might beg, plead, promise change, and anything else in the world to get you to undo what's just been done. Even if you think you'd like to work things out don't cave in now. You both need some time apart so that clearer heads can prevail. Be firm in your commitment to end things before you do and stick to it once you do.

    Follow these tips for ending a relationship and you'll be able to not only hold your head up but also look yourself in the mirror tomorrow morning.

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