Voyeur & Exhibitionist

A voyeur and an exhibitionist appear to be a match made in paraphilic heaven. One loves to watch, the other loves to be watched. You’d think this would make for beautiful music, but each person in the world has his own individual desires, turn-ons and limits, which can make it difficult to know where to draw the line when engaging in erotic desires. Often, consent plays an important role in whether people get turned on, turned off, angry, excited, or get in trouble with the law. For some, the idea of not having consent is what sexually arouses them, which can be a dangerous game to play.

Some examples of nonconsensual voyeuristic behaviors include using peepholes, spying and using concealed or hidden cameras to record individuals. Keep in mind that those individuals on internet live cams, at a nude beach and those having intercourse at a sex club offer a certain degree of implied consent because they are aware they will be seen.

Flashers and people engaging in public sex who purposely get caught may fall under non-consensual exhibitionists, while the exotic dancer and people who perform on webcams, have Skype sex or send photos of themselves through sexting may be considered consensual exhibitionists.

What research has found is that when there is a compulsive component present to voyeurism and exhibitionism, it can become problematic, debilitating and can potentially impact a person’s sexual functioning.

A diagnosed voyeur likely balances a number of internal and external psychological conflicts. Most are men and many struggle with their own sexual fulfillment and desires. They are often sexually frustrated individuals and have difficulty with sexual relationships and dating. The voyeuristic behavior helps the individual deal with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, pain, self-esteem struggles, and/or underlying mental health issues. The behaviors may help satisfy or substitute sexual fulfillment and happiness. If you combine those difficulties with a compulsive need to view unsuspecting people in a sexual manner, this can be a difficult burden for anyone to carry and can possibly lead to harmful consequences.

A diagnosed exhibitionist may also experience difficulties that can affect their sexual and interpersonal functioning. They often experience internal psychological frustrations or tension and the act of exposing themselves helps alleviate these feelings. Some fantasize that their flashing will produce a sexualized response from the observer. Often, they seek a specific type of response, such as surprise, shock, disgust, or anger to help fill the sexual and/or psychological void within themselves. This response can elicit sexualized feelings and arousal that may lead some to masturbate afterward. If a person offers a different response than what was internally desired (ignoring them, ridicule, laughter), the exhibitionist may feel rejected, angered or humiliated. This could further exacerbate the psychological difficulties they may be dealing with and lead them to continue their exhibitionism in attempts to deal with their frustrations.

As with any sexual behavior, too much of a good thing and lack of consent can have destructive outcomes. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are like water: Sometimes they’re refreshing and nourishing, and other times, they can boil and burn you. We’re all sexual beings, and fulfilling our sexual desires is a basic part of life. Use your imagination and take advantage of all the possibilities out there for safe, consensual sexcapades. Be careful, make smart choices and find positive outlets for your erotic desires. They’re out there if you’re really looking.