I didn’t even stay up that late! However, truth be told after speaking with my cousin on the phone I really was glad that I slept in and didn’t go see him and his family.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my family, but most of the time I don’t like them too much. Two years ago I loved my grandmother and my uncle they were the only ones that seemed to understand what was going on in my head and the stress I was trying to handle. Now that I’ve moved home (not in with my family just in the same area code) things have completely 180’ed and its my mom that I’m reconnecting with; she’s not the one I want to push in front of a moving train my grandmother and uncle are!
I’m fairly certain that’s because my grandmother is what some people would view as rich and my uncle seems to be circling her like a buzzard waiting for the animal to finally stop twitching. My grandmother is no where near death, mind you. She’s probably one of the most healthy people in my family (aside from my hypochondriac uncle who goes to the doctor every time he has a hang nail) but my uncle is looking at the fact that my grandmother has cancer, he has a son that’s a starving artist another trying to go to college and a 3 year old grandson. He’s done nothing with his life and is trying to figure out what he’s going to leave his progeny, hence where him bitching about my grandmother loaning my mother $50 so she can replace the brakes on her wheel chair (ya know, because brakes are something no body needs!).
In the grand scheme of things I did get the important things done today, application for a new “day time” job, application for another “night time” job and looked at a few apartments. I’m staying with some friends right now and don’t get me wrong, unlike the last friends I lived with these ones are cloud 9. No drama. I still want a place to call my own. A place where I can walk around naked or shoot in whatever room I want without having to wait for people to go to school or work. I want to be in control of my surroundings again.
Over all I am proud of what I accomplish if for nothing else than this is the third day I’ve been sick. Yesterday was the worst. I slept all day and got almost nothing done, today my throat is still sore as hell (entire bag of cough drops sore) and my nose swollen and congested all through my sinuses. I’m really hoping I feel better because I am REFUSING to cancel my shoot on Sunday. I’m really looking forward to seeing this tricked out studio and getting back into my fashion modeling. Don’t worry, I’m still going to be your dirty little slut but I want to keep my fingers in every pie they’ve been in (I’m greedy like that). Well, wish me health and happiness, roommates say there is spaghetti… wish me garlic bread!