So what if I'm fucking crazy?

You're a real rare individual?
You're into the physical and the metaphysical?
You understand what I do and understand that I need alone time. How do I explain that is critical?
You want my time and it sounds so hypocritical? Especially when you're not willing to compensate me

With the COVID plastered over our normal lives and removing a lot of the things that we've come to find comfort in, is it difficult to understand that the population is going insane? This new world, new normal has to lead to a lot of people not respecting boundaries that are there for a reason because they are only focusing on what they need and want to keep all their marbles contained. 

Everyone is so quick to dismiss how fucked up the world is. They'll exchange "how are you"s and respond with just fine. Even though their not... do they not understand how they're not? My mind twists and turns like ... none of us are ok but there is nothing anyone can do about it. We're all thinking about what we've lost, what we could have had, and what our future looks like... It's all uncertain. We're all just caught in quicksand and we're just slowly sinking, trying to continue our day and not worry about the impending doom that is just inches away. It's fine. We're back to work and that's all that matters. Right?

I wasn't born to just pay bills and then die. I don't believe that you were either. We are supposed to be entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Yes, entitled. I know a lot of the world likes to scream up and down that my generation is "entitled" but we just want the things that were promised. The things that our parents and grandparents told us we would get if we worked hard and applied ourselves. The "American Dream". Or maybe that was just me that heard these things because I was raised in a "respectable" family. My family was in politics and my world was FULL of "we're watching" cause everyone was... I didn't want the "future" my family was designing for me. I didn't want to just go to work, drink beer, and call it good enough. I wanted something bigger. I believe that in our hearts of hearts we all do and that is what is stirring the pot of political distrust right now. 

They know I've got million-dollar plans and I'm trying to build a brand, live a life in high demand.

Maybe its because I took the declaration of independence too seriously when I was in school. Yet its the declaration of independence that bangs around in my head for hours on end with no reprieve. Not ever. Unalienable rights. Natural rights are those that are not dependent on the laws or customs of any particular culture or government, and so are universal, and fundamental. These are supposed to be for EVERY human.  Yet if you just want to flip burgers to make your ends meet so you have most of your own time at the end of the day to make something "bigger" to follow the blueprints that are printing out in your brain and driving you insane people look at you like you're just that. Insane. 

Where does that put us through? How do we reconcile this with how the world "really" works?

No... I'm seriously asking because as a millennial I don't know what to do with my life. I did everything I was supposed to... in the beginning even though my chronic illness told my family that I wouldn't live as long as I'm currently achieving. I was supposed to be dead when I got married, bought a house, had kids... and then the world renigged on its social construct and left me on my ass. Everything I'd worked and sacrificed for was gone. The nights I missed with my friends because I HAD to earn that dollar for this class or that book, to be able to put down what I needed on a house so that my family could grow up with strong roots was quickly washed away by capitalism failing. 

Don't get attached to anything you can lose. Where do we go from here?