The plate is broken, that crack will always be there. Do you throw away the plate or do you try to fix it? The lesson to learn here is that "Sorry" is the process of fixing the plate. Did you use glue? Did you use gold?
"What do you mean what did I use? What does it matter? It's fixed isn't it?"
Very true... but how much was your "sorry" worth? Will the plate break again from the basic use or will it hold forever?
That's today's lesson.
In life when you take care of your stuff, are privileged enough to have "nice things", work hard or gain influence or authority there comes a point where you have to wonder if people are your friends because they like YOU or they like your stuff/what you can do for them.
- You're the kid on the playground with the "coolest" toy, do they want to play with YOU or just the toy?
- Is your co-worker being nice to you because they actually respect you or because they want "easy access" to the benefits of your position?
- Is this person trying to be your friend because they want your help making money (want you to make it for them) or getting them a job that they aren't qualified for?
If you're a "normal" person you ignore the situations when they come up but after time patterns arise, so you may cut back on letting the person have access to whatever they appear to be after... if they're not truly on your side/loyal then you may notice a change in their behavior and that's when trust is broken.
Trust is such a delicate thing, even more so in this modern world where everyone seems to be two-faced and disrespectful because they believe that the world is "cold and cruel" but it's only that way if we ALLOW it to be. One of the ways that we don't allow the world to be cruel is forgiving but in this modern world when someone SAYS they are sorry for their hurtful or even destructive behavior we often don't forgive them or don't at least take them back because it doesn't seem like they are truly sorry.
In this horrible "real world" that has been created by three generations words like "love" and "sorry" aren't enough, they have to be filled with action. Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize it can also cause more problems in the future. If this behavior has been repeated and called out before to receive an "I'm Sorry" but no changed behavior it makes the whole situation even harder.
When you're hurtful and rude to a friend how do you SHOW that you're sorry? Well, internet means will tell you that the average female accepts apologizes in 3 forms "cupcakes, cash and couture" but some people will feel like that is groveling, buying friendship or equating it to a bunch of other emotions that are negative and/or shallow.
So how do you get back a friend you've lost when your apology seems to have fallen on deaf ears? Let's look over your apology, did you admit to ALL your wrong doing? Or did you only admit to what you were informed of being accused of? Did you try to shift blame and forget that you left evidence of trust betrayed? So many people forget in this world that screen shots are CONSTANTLY being taken of conversations that are believed to be "private". So you may apologize and be trying to "save face" but all you are doing is causing more issues with trust because you're not being 100% honest. When your honor, love, and loyalty are junk then no amount of "sorry" will fix a situation.