Mother

"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand?"

I don't think I ever really did... Eric Draven says this in The Crow. They're trying to tell us that mother is what children worship. She's beauty and grace, she's protection and security. For me, I knew I had a mother but like God I rarely saw her. For a woman that was pro-life, she never really cared about mine.

My mother drank and God knows what else while pregnant. She didn't believe in abortion and when the doctor brought it up she told him "if you suggest that again, I'll go to a different doctor" she loved telling me that story. She felt like such a hero in that moment. That moment was fleeting, cause she didn't stop drinking. Maybe she cut down but I still got a handful of disorders that scientists believe are fetal alcohol related.
• Learning and memory
• Understanding and following directions
• Switching attention between tasks
• Controlling emotions and impulsivity
• Communicating and developing social skills
• Experiencing depression and anxiety
• Performing daily life skills, including feeding, bathing, counting money, telling time, and minding personal safety

Slave Application (update)

 Committing to a lifetime or even a single session of slavery is a serious undertaking for anyone to consider. Nothing is to be rushed. Nothing is to be taken for granted. All the rules and conditions to be built up over time do not fundamentally matter as they are a means to an end: a sustainable, ever-maturing and evolving, mutually satisfying, effective and loving Master-slave partnership. Be honest, open and truthful, with yourself and your Master. Commitment, fulfillment, happiness and above all trust and clear communication are crucial, so think carefully about what you are asked here.

Filling in this form will take time. A good Master needs a thorough understanding of any slave who is placed under her control, and honesty and trust are established through clear communication, as well as good actions and training. The mental component to slavery is even more important than the physical dimensions, and this application will help a slave to begin to explore the mental side of slavery, or at the least, enable a slave to consider his reaction or attitudes to various aspects of slavery.

Good Masters need good slaves, and good slaves who submit more willingly and completely to a Master are desirable, and worthy of training. If your application is successful, I will be in touch to arrange an inspection/ interview session and to discuss your future slave development.

Good luck.

2020 Too

 It feels so weird.

At the end of 2019 I was getting my life together. I'd just fixed my back tattoo and was really feeling my body. I was on my way to really progress in my career and in my personal life. 

3 months later covid started and over a year of quarantine and another year of bullshit covered bullshit has set me back 7 years. I'm feeling hopeless and frustrated. 

There's also nothing I can do. There's no "work harder" that's going to give me back what I lost in the same amount of time I lost it. 

"Why are you a [Sex Worker]?"

Because I have SERIOUS problems with -requesting- time off. Requesting hours. The company needs workers, those workers should get a full say in how that works but we've fallen so far from FREEDOM that we are entering into a different kind of slavery. I refuse. If a company is NOT giving me benefits and $75k+ a year then they get -informed- of when I'm coming and going. Regardless of what you pay me, I will tell you what my availability is and will NEVER say -Oh, I've got OPEN availability- Why?

 
Cause, the fuck I do!

No one on this planet has open availability. People need to eat, sleep, bathe, laugh... People need more from their life than what capitalism can give. Capitalism is a rat trap for us, rats. Open availability is a trap, especially the way these companies want it.
Open availability for most minimum wage jobs translates to "I will work from open to close, every motherfucking day" and that's just not realistic. Your body and soul need time to rest and focus on things that matter TO YOU. You need to be able to create, relax and play.

Sorry (Not really), if I'm your employee I'm going to give you realistic expectations.
Under promise, over-deliver. Just like if you hire me for a custom photo set or a video. 

THAT'S WHY I'M A [SEX WORKER] - because I'm a mother fucking business. There's no separating my "hustle"/job from my "downtime"/life. The other things that are going on in my life are what make my working hours so costly.  If you cant understand where the expense comes from then I have to ask if you're truly happy with your life or if you are just a rat stuck on the wheel. 

Access To Me

 Allow me to remind anyone and everyone who needs to hear this.

No one is entitled to access to me or anyone, no exceptions. 

Some people believe that people are entitled to access to us by default unless they do some egregious slight that then justifies them being taken out of our lives. It's not the case.

Access to YOU is granted by YOU and ONLY YOU. You get to decide how someone earns it.

Access to me, for instance, is granted on some pretty basic things but the main ones (especially recently) have been...

• Is this going to be a positive experience?
• Is being in this setting going to require "after-care" (physically or emotionally)?
• Are you safe? Do you care about consent? Do I feel my boundaries will be respected?