What Can Be Said?

More Drama

Tonight I got sucked into drama. I was very proud of myself for still remaining rational, defending myself but not bad mouthing others. I've been really working hard towards that lately, reminding myself that no good comes from it.

Especially since looking back on times when I did "sink" to "that level" it never worked. It didnt solve or sooth my feelings of hurt or betrayal. I could write about each of them in vivid detail, tell you where I fucked up and where I felt justified in my actions but that doesn't solve it and all though I chastise others for not owning their mistakes and apologizing I realize that to those that I greatly hurt I'm still greatly ashamed of my actions and while I can sit here in my bubble of anonymity and telling you how I acted poorly, said things that didnt need to be said... I've never owned those actions to the people they hurt.

Well, that didnt go as planned....

If you've read the previous blogs then you know that I've been dealing with a bit of drama, as well as dealing with "No Money November" as I like to call it because the average person's purse strings tighten right up this month. No worries though... except the surgery my daughter was scheduled for in February got bumped to Friday so that meant running around for her pre-screening and pre-op evaluations. Thankfully I'm a pro at this because the surgery is not new for me personally or me as a mother since I've done this, my eldest has done this and so now its only natural that it was my youngest turn!

This was the plan: Go to bed early Thursday (yay! no club so this was an option) and then get up with Baby Dahl around 4am to pack and get her to the hospital by 6am.

Lets Start From The Beginning.... Again

When I first started this blog I started with a simple explanation because it was my belief that the most important question is not the meaning of  life, nor that of a higher power. The most profound question is that one ask themselves "who am I". A lot has changed since I started this blog over 6 years ago but some things have stayed the same.

Separation

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It's a statement that gets used an awful lot in our world but it's not always the case.  It's long been taught by the book of love, but even scientists will suggest that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder... if the fondness is there. If the intimacy and closeness is there. Separation can also lead the mind to realize that the person you thought you couldn't live without.... well, you can. It tends to make people realize the motives in their actions towards people.  If those actions are love then it makes the heart fonder.  If the emotions are a little less positive then more realization and self reflection is going to come.