Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Gah! I can’t get motivated to save my life. I had all these big plans for 2012 so that 2013 would be better than the last two. I’m so sick of the uncertainty my life has had over the last 3 years and I am determined to start making it better.


Right now things are on hold, and even just keeping up with has been a slight challenge. My car died. All of my camera guys got “real” jobs and so they’re barely ever around and the “professional” photographers out here are anything but…

 I miss Buffalo so much on crap days like this!

The other day I had a photographer inform me that I should take $100/hr for a FULL boy/girl scene because I don’t do anal. It was exceptionally hard not to laugh in his face. I’m sorry but you obviously have no idea how this works and secondly shooting that type of content out side of the main areas means that I'm scarce and when something is rare what happens? The price goes UP, not down.

 I'm not a stupid little bobble head wanting to be a model. I've done everything from Fashion to Fetish and in a professional areana! Yet out here in this racist, sexist bumble-fuck what do I know; I’ve only been doing this for almost three years.
But at the head of the day I still have a vagina which means I cant possible have a brain in my head!
>.< Gah! Its crap like this that makes me truly hate people.


One of my friends was trying to tell me that the reason that I feel so unmotivated lately is because I need a break but with two kids and trying to get into a new apartment I just don’t see how a break is going to be had. Especially since holiday season is just around the corner so the cost of plane and train tickets is going to skyrocket which means *drum roll* no traveling since my car is still dead to the world.

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